This even happened a while ago (has it been 2 months already?) and I think I may have just recovered.
A little background: I am a homebody. I’m practically a shut it when it comes to having fun. I do not go out and dance, I don’t spend much time with girlfriends, and I NEVER go to clubs!
I went to a friend’s house with the intentions that we were going to be playing games, a little snacking, and a lot of bullshitting. So after not very long of being there everyone decides that we should go to the local watering hole and dance.
So I have the biggest car able to transport everyone there (minivan mom!) and back and I’m not a drinker so it should be fun! Who else is going to sit and watch the purses? ME!
So this place is kind of a joke, in my opinion! Loud (of course), Hoochie Mamas to the brink of madness, and these guys with the crazy gleam of prowlness (is that a word?) in their eyes. So after a while there all that gals are begging me to go downtown with them. I’m suspecting it’s because I’m 1) sober and 2) a good purse watcher. So I call the hubby at the time that I said I’d be home and see if he minds that I stay out later.
Side note: Jason does not tell me what to do or how to do it, this is just a common courtesy that we have in our wonderful marriage.
My stipulation to all of this is we HAVE to stop somewhere so I can get a better shirt to wear, make-up and maybe a piece of flair because I was not in shape to go anywhere besides hainging out with friends in a private residence! I’d already embarrassed myself going to the one bar looking like a 32 year old haggard housewife who never leaves her house. Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I am! lol
So we stop by Walmart. Yay Walmart! Open 24 hours a day! For Schlups like me! I find a half way decent shirt that I would have never bought under any other circumstance. I really needed another bra to go with this shirt, but there was no way I was dealing with that at 12:30am. Then off to the makeup section to grab some essential: conceiler, eyeliner and mascara. On my way back there was some cute jewelry so I grabbed a few pieces of that as well. (Flair!) Pay (Why was the line wait so rediculous at 12:30am?) and into the bathroom for a quick turnaround! Ok, ALMOST halfway decent and I’m off to find my gal group. They were eating! Smart gals!
SO off to Embers we go! WOOHOO!
Ok… um… did you know that this was a gay club? I did know this however I didn’t think too much of it.
Wow. We walked in and there was fantastic music. Lots of dancing. Lots of “making out” on the dance floor. I put that in quotes because I think it was just on the edge of actually having sex. Decent drinks. I had one, I can’t even remember what it was, but thanks Chrissy for the drink!
I’m standing on the edge of the dance floor watching drinks. (Everyone was very smart and left purses and what not in the car, so I was watching drinks! Of course this was a self appointed job.) And let me tell you what I saw:
This wonderful little man who was dancing up a storm! I don’t know that he would actually qualify as a “little person” but he was pretty close. He was so exuberant! Dancing like crazy with anyone who would get close, I mean dance with him. He was so dang cute! I could imitate the way he danced, but I’ll save myself the shame, thank you. He even would come up to the group I was with and dance, cute!
Then they played Madonna and of course I got out there and shook my thang. Mind you, not the same kind of “thang” that a lot of the people there were shaking, but you get the picture.
Back to the edge of the floor and onto my observation. (I’m shaking it up a bit the more time goes on. A little side to side, a step here or there.)
Then I saw these guys. They were “Night At The Roxbury-ish” kind of guys. They were going after one of the gals in my group trying to convince her who was “less gay” I mean, less gay? Is there really such a thing? I mean, either you’re gay or your not. Right? Maybe I’m a little unPC about that, but really, is it worth a girl, Guys to disregard your sexual preference? Probably not. NOT that I’m implying the gal we were with wouldn’t have been worth it, she was a great, fun person! But… these guys seem to be the type who were swarming in on anyone who would pay attention. Ok, before I go any further I have to express that I’m not a bigot, I understand and appreciate that people can choose any sexual orientation and they even have the right to be bisexual and go back and forth as they see fit. I am just telling it like I saw it. I was under the impression those guys were there to pick up on ANYONE who would go home with them, maybe even together (again, no judging!) and that is what I find interesting. Sad, but interesting.
So, we stayed until last call and then we got the hell out of there!
It was fun. Would I do it again? Yes, with better planning though.
I’ve decided I HATE Walmart in the middle of the night!
And I will always go to game night in makeup.